Theresa May's long-anticipated January 17th Brexit speech was so rammed full of inherently contradictory nonsense it's difficult to know where to start.
Do we start with the bit where she claimed to be putting the Union "at the heart of everything we do" whilst simultaneously urinating all over Nicola Sturgeon's most important red line by announcing that the Tory party are going to try to drag Scotland out of the Single Market against their will? Surely such a dictatorial move is grounds for a second Scottish independence referendum?
Consider all her guff about how she wants "free trade with European markets", "tariff-free trade with Europe", "cross-border trade" whilst announcing her intention to drag the UK out of the largest free trade zone on earth, and quit the customs union to boot!
How about the bit where she claimed that she wants the UK to be "a magnet for international talent" whilst announcing her determination to drive countless skilled migrants away from the UK as part of an anti-immigration drive designed to appease Ukippers and the hard-right of the Tory party?
Then there's the bit about wanting to be "a good friend and neighbour to Europe" which was immediately followed up with a load of threats about the UK turning itself into a giant tax haven in order to steal wealth away from Europe if the EU don't give in to her ludicrous demands!
Probably the most ridiculously self-contradictory thing of all though was her assertion that the Tories must set about drawing up plans to turn the UK into a savagely right-wing tax haven economy because "It is right that the Government should prepare for every eventuality".
To assert such a thing in a speech that has taken the Tory party over six months to come up with because they didn't bother to even consider the possibility that David Cameron might actually lose his reckless EU referendum gamble is quite extraordinary.
The only bloody reason she's making this speech so long after the vote to Leave is that the government she was part of (Home Secretary is one of the major offices of state) not only failed to "prepare for every eventuality", but actually completely failed to prepare for one of the outcomes in a binary choice with just two possible outcomes!
And now she's got the absolute brass neck to lecture the public, and the rest of Europe, about the importance of preparing for every eventuality!
If this Tory Brexit shambles wasn't going to have such appalling consequences for millions of people, it really would be laughable.
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